Evading the Marriage Law
by blue artemis
Summary: This was my gift to gagliarua for the 2019 ss/hg gift fest. Hermione gets Snape to help her evade the Ministry's new Marriage Law.


"Severus, you have to help me!" Hermione ran in to Moste Potent Potions yelling, her hair swirling ever higher.

"I see one of your many gingers in the Ministry have told you about what is percolating in those most hallowed halls?" Severus responded, drying his hands as he walked toward the front of the store.

"Yes!" She wailed. "It seems if you ARE in an acceptable relationship, they will exempt you, and Ron checked, Prince is one of the families they want to continue."

"I may never understand why Millicent Bullstrode chose to marry that menace, but they seem happy," Severus mused.

"Severus! Focus!" Hermione demanded. "I know you aren't attracted to me, but people know we are friends. They would believe we are in a relationship."

Severus stared at the young woman he considered his best friend, ever since she ignored his protests and did her best to bully him back into health. _She thinks I don't find her attractive? I may be able to use this to my advantage. _

"I agree, Hermione, I am willing to pretend to be your suitor, but what of the, more carnal requirements?" Severus asked.

"Quite honestly, Severus, I think I may be asexual. I've never enjoyed sex," she replied. Then she saw his face. "I'm not _unwilling_, and if I was forced to choose someone to father my children it would be you, at least they wouldn't be dunderheads, but I just don't know if you'd ever enjoy it."

_Silly witch. "_I'm willing to try if you are, Hermione." Severus had known about the law coming. Kingsley himself had told him. Being true to his very Slytherin self, Severus had hoped that he could find a way to manipulate Hermione into doing this very thing. But, as it turned out, all he had to do was sit back and enjoy the ride, so to speak.

"Good. Sign here," she said, holding a set of forms out to him.

Severus smiled to himself as Hermione went from looking at him expectantly to crossing her arms and looking anywhere but at him, to finally tapping her foot and reaching out to snatch the paperwork away from him as soon as he finished placing his signature on the parchment.

"Anxious, are you?" He asked.

"I heard that Flint and Goyle got in a duel over who would get to ask for my hand, Severus! I would snap my own wand before I added their genetics to mine!" Hermione screeched. "I'll let you know how it goes." She said as she turned into her apparition.

The scene at the Ministry was mayhem.

"Any person with a partner willing to test for compatibility may bring their signed paperwork up here now," sounded a familiar voice aided by Sonorus.

Hermione pushed her way up to the front. She seemed to be only one of the very few who realized she had to have paperwork. She handed it to Percy Weasley.

"Thank you for preparing properly," Percy pontificated proudly.

Hermione snickered at the alliteration that floated through her mind. She shook her head as a Percy stared at her. "Sorry, I laughed because I'm nervous."

That made Percy soften his look. "Of course," he said. "I'd be more nervous if my marriage hadn't resulted in a magical child already… Now please look away, Hermione. You learn things far too quickly for me to allow you to see the compatibility spell."

"For Merlin's sake, Percy, I developed the spell," Hermione fussed. "I just didn't realize my research would be misused this way."

As she was busy complaining, Percy completed the spell. The parchment glowed golden. "Congratulations, Hermione! You and Master Snape have a golden compatibility score! That means you are officially out of the match lottery. The Ministry will need you to—"

"That is unnecessary, Mr. Weasley," Severus's voice cut through the noise that started up. "Hermione and I would be glad to have the Minister perform our binding here and now."

Hermione looked at him, eyes wide, hair starting to crackle, when she noticed Ron, Harry and Malloy?! They were standing behind Severus nodding their heads frantically.

Percy had discreetly sent a flying memo to Kingsley, who walked up to them at that moment. "Hermione, Severus!" He declared in his deep bass voice. "I am very pleased by your willingness to set an example. Now, the parchment glowed golden, so your binding marks should follow suit."

This quieted both Flint and Goyle who were quite certain Hermione had bamboozled the Weasel, whichever one it was who was running the registration.

As Kingsley performed the simple binding ceremony, the ribbons provided by Harry, Ron and Malfoy sunk into their wrists in a brilliant flare of gold.

Unfortunately for Goyle, he still thought that something could have been tampered with, resulting in, "Crucio!"

He might have been sent to Azkaban, had there been anything left to send. Severus had turned in front of Hermione and threw up a mirror shield. Goyle fell under his own spell just as Ron cast a Stunner, Harry cast a Reducto and Malfoy cast a cutting spell. Little pieces of twitching flesh fell to the floor. Percy quickly banished the lot to the holding cells.

"Anyone else want to test the veracity of the Snapes' bond?" asked Kingsley, his eyes sweeping over the crowd. "No? Good, let them pass, they have better things to do than speak to reporters or well-wishers," he stated, Aurors moving at his words to clear a path.

Once they reached the apparition point, Severus took Hermione's hand and placed it in the crook of his arm. "Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Of course, Severus," she said, "Wh-?"

She didn't manage to get the whole word out before he gracefully turned them both and Apparated out.

They landed in the library of a small cottage.

"Oh, this is lovely, Severus! Where are we?" Hermione asked.

"We are in Dumbledore's summer cottage in the lowlands," he said. "He left it to me, first as a safe house, then later, just outright. Maybe he thought it would make up for the things he asked me."

"That's oddly prescient of him, to be sure. Normally, he was all about the forest and didn't care much for the individual trees," Hermione babbled.

"Are you nervous, Hermione? We have 72 hours to consummate our binding. We don't have to do it right this moment," Severus said, proud of himself for not throwing the witch over his shoulder and having his way with her.

"I think I would be less nervous if you just threw me over your shoulder and had your way with me," she said.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I like to read, but I don't much know what any of those things I read actually feel like on me, you know? The two men, well, one didn't care much about anything except himself, and the other, well, he tried, but he kept wanting me to direct him," she said. "I didn't know what to say!"

Severus nodded.

"Let's try this, then, shall we?" he asked, then waited for Hermione to nod at him tentatively, waiting for anything except what she got.

Severus walked her over to a small table in his bedroom and sat her down. Then he rummaged through his drawers, and pulled out a deck of cards.

"Strip poker!"

Hermione giggled. "You may be in trouble. My dad loved poker, and he taught me to play."

A few hands in, and Hermione was her bra and panties, one stocking and a belly chain. Severus was in his white button down shirt, trousers and whatever underpants he wore.

Hermione was breathing heavily, eyes dilated at the look in Severus's eyes.

"What is making you look at me like that?" she asked.

"Truly, witch, are you fishing? Those silky things may not be lace, but they are fine enough to see your nipples and slit. And a belly chain? Why a belly chain? You are a fantasy come to life, and you ask me why I'm looking at you like that?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I think I want to try this now," she said.

"Good. Remove everything but the belly chain and lie down on the bed," Severus ordered.

Hermione hurried time follow his instructions, the familiar tones settled her somewhat.

"There is no rush, _wife," _Severus stressed the last word.

Hermione slowed down, settling at the head of the bed, leaning against the pillows, legs slightly spread.

Severus removed his socks, then his trousers, shirt and pants. His cock stood up out of the thatch of black pubic hair.

Hermione reached out for it as he slid up the bed toward her. Severus swiftly caught her hand and pulled it up so he could hold both in his left hand, slightly above her head. He lay on his side next to her, his right hand and those dexterous fingers playing unknown melodies along her body, until finally they delved between her legs, as he leaned down to kiss her.

Hermione leaned up into the kiss, unconsciously rolling her hips with the movement of his fingers. As her movements grew more frantic, he pulled his hand away. Hermione made a day stressed mewling sound.

"Don't worry, wife, I shall take care of you, " Severus muttered as he held her arms above her head and thrust into her.

Hermione keened.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Noooo! More, please!"

At that, Severus grinned a very predatory grin and began to thrust harder, until he felt Hermione's walls start to flutter around him. As she fell apart in pleasure, he let go and joined her.

As their breath evened out, Hermione spoke quietly, "At the very least, now I know I do like sex."

Severus threw his head back and laughed.


End file.
